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 Texas : Features : Columns : Notes From Over Here :

"It was like that when we got there"

by Byron Browne
In the first place, there are two facts: One-On September 28, 1687, a Venetian cannonball scored a direct hit on a Turkish ammunition depot located inside the Parthenon, destroying the ceiling and cracking the capitals and columns along that side of the structure. Fact number two is wholly dependent upon fact number one. That is, because fact number one occurred in the 17th century, it can be certain that my students had absolutely nothing to do with it.
The Parthenon close up details, Athens, Greece
Photo by Byron Browne, March 2007
The Parthenon, that brilliant, august architectural wonder resting atop the Acropolis in Athens, Greece, was both the treasury of the Athenians and the temple of Athena Parthenos-Athena the Virgin. Any student of Greek mythology could tell you that this goddess (capital G?) has a history of reacting sourly when she considers herself offended. For example, having told the daughters of Kekrops, one of Athens’ first kings, not to look inside the box she had given them, they, of course, did and Athena drove them to madness and they leapt to their deaths from the Acropolis. And who could forget the prophet Tieresias whose sole penalty was accidentally catching sight of Athena bathing? She blinded him for the offense. Then there is Medusa who blithely mentioned that she was as beautiful as the goddess and was subsequently allowed to enjoy a swarming hair treatment and eternal hibernation until Perseus put an abrupt end to her vacation. And then there was the priest (A priest!) Laocoon, who became the source material for the original version of Jaws for daring to try and warn the Trojans about the encroaching Greek menace.

You might well imagine, given this sort of history, how nervous I was when, during a trip to Greece with some students, one of them turned his back on this greatest and most sacred achievement of architecture during the course of my lecture and began scraping the hallowed remnants with his tennis shoe. Hoping no one had noticed I continued my lecture. However, it wasn’t long before he augmented his crime in the way that only a sixteen-year-old can-he spoke. “When ‘r we gonna’ eat?”

By Herakles! I was stunned to silence. I began looking above for dark clouds and half expected the ground to split and swallow us up. Maybe we’d all get off with just a blinding. Maybe the goddess would only punish the offender and, Jimmy Hoffa-like, he would disappear into some of the reconstruction blocks on site. Perhaps, in true Greek fashion, the punishment would fit the crime and he would be metamorphosed into an ass or, simply, struck mute. (That one appealed to me.) What would I tell his mother? What could I tell the school? The boy was taken out by the goddess Athena for a sacrilege committed in front of her temple. Sounded plausible enough to myself but, would they buy it? I didn’t think so.
Parthenon under reconstruction, Athens, Greece
Photo by Byron Browne, March 2007
Parthenon with scaffolds,  Athens, Greece
Photo by Byron Browne, March 2007

Being the one responsible at such a moment is daunting. (In loco parentis-in place of the parent-why now?!) Nevertheless, I was determined to try and get us out of there as safely as possible. I squinted at the boy and seethed through clenched teeth “Not now!” I was trying to get him quiet, trying to make him understand the gravity of the situation however, the food virus had infected several others and I was losing more of them to the lunch idea. I wrapped the talk up with a promise to return later in the week. We made a hasty forced march for the exit and I gave a sort of half-bow as we passed the temple of Nike. Maybe appeasing one deity I could mollify the temperament of another.

We escaped unharmed, miraculously.

I take students to Greece regularly, although, I have not returned with any since the “incident”. I have been scouring through ancient sources, trying to find instances of Athena, having been offended, forgetting about the crimes or forgiving the offenders. I’ve been looking now for some time and, kind of like that south side of the Parthenon, it doesn’t look good.


Copyright Byron Browne

Notes From Over Here
March 3, 2009 Column
Byron Browne can be reached at Byron.Browne@gmail.com

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