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  Texas : Features : Columns : "It's All Trew"

The Great Nail Pickup

by Delbert Trew
Delbert Trew
Years ago, a rash of flat tires on ranch vehicles and stock trailers prompted the search for some sort of solution. Our ranch headquarters had started about the turn of the century so a lot of people had lived there down through the years. Their wagons. buggies, rucks and varied activities left nails, staplers and many sharp pieces of metal scattered along our driveway and ranch roads.

I thought of a large magnet like the county uses occasionally on country roads. I also decided to look at the Army surplus place to see if they had a large magnet by chance. My practical-minded wife Ruth suggested I pay the grandchildren a penny each for all the nails or "flat-causers" found on the ranch. I jumped on this economcal solution to my problem like a dog on a bone and soon had several empty coffee cans awaiting the arrival of the little angels. Our penny bank stood ready for the payoff.

The scene was beautiful. The children took their cans and scattered to the four winds searching for nails. The sound of nails clinking into the cans made beautiful music to my ears and I made plans to throw away my jack and lug wrench. I made a big show of counting the nails and pennies complementing each on their fine work. After a while, the pennies ran out and I had to dig in my pocket for change.

As the project extended into more visits, I was amazed at the number of nails those children found. No wonder I was having flats. I reached the point where I just asked "how many' and paid off. As long as the flats stopped, I was happy.

After the darlings left for home, I carried the nail bucket to the trash barrel. There I discovered many of the nails were straight and others were very shiny. I was no dummy. I had been too trusting and had been hornswoggled by my own kin. I would be more alert in the future.

A few weeks later, the little schemers returned for more spending money. When I dumped the nails from their cans I found many new nails that I knew came from the barn. I gave them a lecture on honesty while sorting out the bogus nails. At this moment the leader and his followers turned on the tears for Grandma Ruth. In the end, I had to pay up as I had said, "nails found on the ranch."

The nail pickup project was successful as my flat problem almost ceased and the children made some spending money. However, the next time I will draw up a contract and make them sign on the dotted line. Some of these little smart-ellics may have a great future in politics.
© Delbert Trew
"It's All Trew" September 1 , 2004 column
 
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