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  Texas : Features : Humor


Swimsuit Issue - July 2000

MISS TEXAS ESCAPEE 2000

Announcing
The Finalists and Winner of
The Texas Escapes Bathing Beauty Contest of 2000

Before announcing Miss Texas Escapee for 2000,
wed like to thank everyone who sent an entry.
Due to space restrictions we can only exhibit
the 4 runners-up which are:

The Finalists

 

 

swimsuit girl 1

Entry Number One:



Calliope Crump
of Comanche County

 

Calliope spends her time refinishing furniture and collecting bricks. She also volunteers time on regional Overdue Library Book Enforcement Squads. She says: "We hate putting liens on people's houses, but something must be done."

If she wins, she'll grant an amnesty to those holding overdue books.

 
 

 

swimsuit girl Olga

Entry Number Two:



Olga Overstreet
of Oyster Creek


 

Olga likes to get out of uniform on weekends and take her dog Cerebus to the beach. Olga works for a local chamber of commerce where she only answers questions that "I feel they need to know."

Olga plays Mandolin and loves to listen to Jimmy Rodgers recordings.

 
 

 

swimsuit girl Phyllis

Entry Number Three



Phyllis Amaryllis
of Aqua Dulce

 

Phyllis is working on tablets that can make bath water drinkable in minutes. At the moment they only work if the water flavor is masked by iced-tea. Very strong iced tea. The problem she says is that "most people insist on bathing with soap."

She is also a world-renowned Florence Chadwick impersonator.

 
 

 

 

swimsuit girl and child

Entry Number Four



Iris (and Igor) Ingram
from Iola

 

While historically Miss Texas Escapee has been childless, times change and so do we. Last year we started accepting contestants with children. We did want them to at least be married, but we found we could elevate ourselves further by accepting contestants with illegitimate children. In fact we are now so enlightened and understanding that starting next year illegitimate children will be mandatory.

Igor's father was a German U-boat sailor who met Iris during a brief visit ashore in Galveston in 1942 when he was buying groceries for the crew of U-392.

 
 

Announcing
MISS TEXAS ESCAPEE 2000

Patricia "Pixie" Pettibone

 
Swim suit winner 2000
Patricia "Pixie" Pettibone from Palacios
Photo Courtesy TxDoT

After 3 days of being sequestered in the Tar-Ball Room of the Tropicana Motor Hotel and RV Park in beautiful coastal Undertow Shores, our panel of Judges voted to give this year's Ms. Texas Escapee Award to Patricia Pettibone.

Pixie's hobbies include knot tying and splicing. She makes a living crafting fish net stockings out of old fish net. She has also been known to eat her weight in boiled shrimp. Her greatest wish is to become a living figurehead on a sailing ship.

Pixie is shown here being ogled by Judge Reinhardtquist, noted Jurist and Drew Carey look-alike.


See also Miss Texas Escapee 1999

 
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