Swimsuit Issue - July 2000
MISS TEXAS ESCAPEE 2000

Announcing
The Finalists and Winner of
The Texas Escapes Bathing Beauty Contest of 2000

The Finalists

Calliope spends her time refinishing furniture and collecting bricks. She also volunteers time on regional Overdue Library Book Enforcement Squads. She says: "We hate putting liens on people's houses, but something must be done."

If she wins, she'll grant an amnesty to those holding overdue books.

Olga likes to get out of uniform on weekends and take her dog Cerebus to the beach. Olga works for a local chamber of commerce where she only answers questions that "I feel they need to know."

Olga plays Mandolin and loves to listen to Jimmy Rodgers recordings.

Phyllis is working on tablets that can make bath water drinkable in minutes. At the moment they only work if the water flavor is masked by iced-tea. Very strong iced tea. The problem she says is that "most people insist on bathing with soap."

She is also a world-renowned Florence Chadwick impersonator.

While historically Miss Texas Escapee has been childless, times change and so do we. Last year we started accepting contestants with children. We did want them to at least be married, but we found we could elevate ourselves further by accepting contestants with illegitimate children. In fact we are now so enlightened and understanding that starting next year illegitimate children will be mandatory.

Igor's father was a German U-boat sailor who met Iris during a brief visit ashore in Galveston in 1942 when he was buying groceries for the crew of U-392.

Announcing
MISS TEXAS ESCAPEE 2000

Patricia "Pixie" Pettibone

After 3 days of being sequestered in the Tar-Ball Room of the Tropicana Motor Hotel and RV Park in beautiful coastal Undertow Shores, our panel of Judges voted to give this year's Ms. Texas Escapee Award to Patricia Pettibone.

Pixie's hobbies include knot tying and splicing. She makes a living crafting fish net stockings out of old fish net. She has also been known to eat her weight in boiled shrimp. Her greatest wish is to become a living figurehead on a sailing ship.

Pixie is shown here being ogled by Judge Reinhardtquist, noted Jurist and Drew Carey look-alike.


See also Miss Texas Escapee 1999