wants you, baby? 4-17-06
in Sales, Oliver Twist, 21st Century Style 4-1-06
Sightings I Have Known 3-14-06
wrong side of the mountain 2-28-06
Destroying Stuff 1-17-06
People of the Future 1-2-06
or Having a Hissing Fit 9-1-05
have nothing to fear except fear itself, and snakes..."
over with the enemy 8-15-05
"I agreed to help host a sleepover for 9 seven-year-old
girls. What a fool this mortal be."
Sweat and the Fury 8-1-05
Advisory for the Inept 7-15-05
it be cool 7-1-05
Pledge Drive 6-1-05
Touchy Subject 5-15-05
"My aversion to hugging has been well documented..."
for Proper Use 5-1-05
Instruction manual to insure that your “Stumbling Forward” experience
is safe and rewarding.
Spring Clean Getaway 4-24-05
modest Texas proposal 5-19-04
Our official state motto and our State of Texas Pledge of Allegiance
our sayings for the 21st century
from the Clap
I've previously noted that people who clap at movie theaters irritate
me. Doesn't make a lot of sense, unless you're going to start, while
alone in your house, clapping for books you like, paintings you
appreciate, or if you make an especially good grilled cheese sandwich,
give yourself a standing ovation.
Swing Set Assembly Made Easy
around a problem
99% of men can be put into one of two categories when it comes to
dancing: those who hate dancing and those who hate dancing but pretend
to like it to keep their wives happy.
Man's Guide to Housework
"We here at the Unsolicited and Possibly Dangerous Center of
Advice have come up with some helpful hints for homemaking for men."
Difficulty of Meeting Expectations
I've come to believe that the committee meeting is the blight of
America. It is sapping our strength, destroying our initiative,
and making it almost impossible to get anything done. And they're
the Unfriendly Skies
Secret of Nonverbal Communication
of the unspirited
Truth about Men and Women
The nature of child-rearing
for "Stumbling Forward"
John Gosselink save small town newspapers? by the Editor
August 17, 2003
is another example of how hippies, the Vietnam War, and Rice-a-Roni
really screwed up this country. Born in the San Francisco Bay Area
during 1967's "Summer of Love," with his father returning from Vietnam
war and his mother teaching liberal arts at the time, Gosselink would
be a walking cliché for the excesses of the '60's if he were a bit
In the early '70's, his family moved to Houston and he had a typical
childhood of wedgies, gun-running in Costa Rica, Hooked On Phonics,
and transcendental meditation. After graduation, his guidance counselor's
testing indicated his aptitudes would lead to career of occasional
odd jobs and aluminum can collecting while living in his parents'
basement. Sadly, his parents didn't have a basement.
So he spent the next decade going to state universities named after
Texas founding fathers, staying at each long enough until they gave
him a diploma so he'd go away. He soon found a woman with poor eyesight
to marry him, and now has two beautiful, intelligent daughters whose
very existence raise questions about Mendel's theories of genetic
He is currently writing and working as a migratory composition teacher
in the Central Texas area, figuring if he teaches his students to
write badly, it will lessen the competition. His home camp is in the
river bottom outside of Smithville.
Gosselink has won many pretend awards, including "Most Likely to Get
A Communicable Rash," "First writer to use the words 'pudding' and
'back-hoe' in the same sentence," and Texas Escape's prestigious "Second
humor writer on our site with a Dutch surname - we think."
When not writing poorly, Gosselink likes to spend his time shouting
incoherently at the Amish, rooting out communists at the tax assessor
office, working on his experimental kabuki opera, renaming his pets
just to confuse them, and making up "trying too hard to be clever"
© John Gosselink
"Stumbling Forward" website: www.stumblingguy.com