| Is it just
me…or do all political conventions seem kind of silly to you?
Not to pick on the Democrats from last week as I am certain the upcoming
Republican one will be just as bad, but aren’t these just a little
too predictable? I mean, come on, you and I could look at film footage
from the past 15 conventions and the format would be essentially the
Let’s get dressed up in funny clothes and act silly. Then we can drink
If you sit the average person down in front of his boob tube and play
some variety or talent show from the fifties, they’d get up and leave
after fifteen minutes. What played in Peoria in the fifties won’t
cut it today. Nope, the networks had to adapt to changing taste (?)
and the desires of the viewing audience. Comedy that was funny forty
years ago won’t even rate a chuckle these days.
So, what happened to the convention planners? Where is their sense
You and I could write the script for either one of the political conventions
in this country.
First we have three or four nights of opponent bashing in which we
list all of the evils of the other candidate. Then we drag out either
an old congressman or a very young, maybe both, to speak on the virtues
of their current candidate. Then we have to have some family member
come out and talk about how Daddy was always there when he was needed.
Then we get the war veterans, if he was in the war. If not in a war,
we get subjected to a variety of colleagues who like to hear themselves
talk and do so for what seems like hours on end. Next we get the wife,
who has stood by her husband through the dark and lonely days. The
wife who has suffered, right along side of old what’s his name. The
wife, who will probably end up writing a tell all book about him once
they are out of the political spotlight.
It won’t be flattering. Trust me, but she will make a lot of money
on it, no matter how many years later it is when it gets published.
It also won’t matter how badly it is written.
Then we turn our attention to the audience. These are grown up adults
wearing funny hats and clothing. They appear to have saved these various
pieces of dress over the years and see no shame in making bad clothing
decisions. Where do they get this stuff they wear? I’ve never seen
anything like what they wear in any of the stores I shop. Who hands
out this many pins to stick on their vest or hats? What do the pins
say or mean? These are the things I’d like for someone to tell me.
All of this must have originated at the start of our country when
someone needed an excuse to throw a party. One of our founding fathers
probably said something like…”I know what we can do….let’s rent a
hall, dress up funny and drink….then we’ll nominate old what’s his
name for president.”
These conventions people appear to be at a fever pitch in the waning
hours of the evening. I’ve often wondered about what they do during
the day. Do they go to seminars and training sessions to learn about
their candidate or do they just sleep and eat? What kind of topics
can they discuss at the seminars anyway?-
I’ve also wondered how these people get off work to attend one of
these things. In fact, if you want the truth, I’m kind of jealous.
It looks to me like several thousand folks have a pretty cushy deal
for a week or so listening to speeches and yelling. I can do that.
Who pays for all of this anyway? How can I sign up? I never see any
ads in the paper looking for folks to join up and attend some orientation
session on convention going.
You can look around at the preparations they have to do just to showcase
the candidate. It looks to me like it takes years to organize and
prepare for the convention week. It also looks expensive.
This stuff must cost a fortune just to pay for the balloons and decorations
alone. How’d that get started anyway? What did they do before they
had balloons? Drop pine cones or something, I suppose. I still would
like to know how they fill those things….I suppose it’s still by hand…don’t
think a machine could do one….certainly looks like a lot of time consuming
work to me. Couldn’t that time be used in some better way…like teaching
a kid to read or something?
Probably not. That would require the old time honored traditions to
change and heaven help us, but that’s never going to happen.
We might as well buckle down and get used to it, since it doesn’t
seem to be going away anytime soon. That’s the American way. Dress
up in funny clothes and throw a party.
I could do this.
© Peary Perry
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