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 Texas : Features : Columns : Letters From North America :
Eliminate the Cuss Words,
Car Crashes and Murders, and
it would be a Silent Movie

by Peary Perry
Peary Perry
You would think that the folks in Hollywood would have scouts or pollsters out here in the hinterland to help them come up with movie plots that sell. Most of us are tired of the talking heads on the news each night saying the same things over and over about each other. ABC, CBS, NBC are opposite of Fox. CNN is somewhere in the middle. Who knows who is correct at this point? Politicians stealing from some program or another? That’s not news, that’s been going on since Noah built the ark. Worthwhile television programming? What’s that? You’ll go blind watching the stuff that is on the tube every night.

No, about the only other media seems to be the movies, but what to do about the current trend? The other night I was watching some old thing on the tube, made in the fifties with William Holden and Jeannie Crain. Plot was simple enough, war veteran comes back to college, gets married, no place to live, moves in with depressed, suicidal professor. Holden and Crain obviously become the professor’s family and save him from killing himself. You watch them go through the trials and tribulations of trying to raise a family while getting an education. Great story, great ending, great moral.

So, what happened since that film was made in the fifties and where we are today? The majority of movies being turned out, or better said…churned out… today aren’t suitable for most adults, much less children and certainly not our parents. To me a challenge for any writer of screen plays in today’s environment is to draft a script without the use of any four lettered words. I’ve seen movies, and so have you that if they eliminated the cuss words, car crashes and murders it would be a silent movie. Normal people don’t talk like this, or at least I don’t hear them, do you?

Nearly every week we read or hear about the decline in attendance at the movie theaters around the country. Is this news? What we are seeing now is a rash of re-runs of movies made 15-20 years ago…The Dukes of Hazard, Herbie the Love Bug…and on and on. Can’t the writers in Hollywood come up with anything original that is worth our money and effort?

It was reported over the weekend that theaters are beginning to adopt a ‘get your money back’ policy. If you don’t like the film, you can walk back to the cashier and get a refund. Not a bad idea, I’ve walked out of a lot of movies after ten or fifteen minutes. It doesn’t take a mental giant to know when a turkey is on the screen. I’ll be curious to see how long this policy stays in place. I bet we all can remember films we wish we could obtain a refund for. Classics such as ‘Ishtar”, “Alexander the Great” and “Kingdom of Heaven” should rate double our hard earned bucks back. Just for wasting our time.

Actually what it seems like to me is that the entire entertainment industry thinks they can dictate to us what we are to like and not to like. Somehow they have developed this misguided notion that whatever they turn out is going to be grabbed up by a willing public, no matter how terrible it is. When you look back at films made years ago, as I mentioned earlier, you know they didn’t have huge production costs, but they had a story and some originality. Then you compare them to what is being served up to us today and it’s fairly obvious that the movie moguls in La-La land view the general public as a collection of village idiots.

With movie prices higher than ever and concession stand costs higher still, it is small wonder that millions of us are choosing to stay at home, play with the kids, read a book or take a walk. These are definitely cheaper and much more rewarding than the pap coming from the movie industry of today. Perhaps the producers might want to consider venturing out into our world of reality to see why we aren’t enthralled with the silver screens anymore.
© Peary Perry
Comments go to pperry@austin.rr.com
Letters From North America
- July 6, 2005 column
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