|The Good Old US of A
by Peary Perry
this a great country or what? I mean we must be the envy of the entire world.
No wonder people from all around this planet are trying every way they can to
get into our fair land.
Take this for instance; in some parts of the south,
some citizens participate in a sport called ‘noodling’. This is basically described
as an outdoor event in which you try to catch large catfish barehanded, without
benefit of rods and reels. In some parts of the nation, this is illegal, but these
die hard sportsmen don’t seem to care about the legal consequences, they are just
true believers in a sporting tradition that dates back for God knows how many
years. The point of this is to wade out into some stream, bayou or canal and then
stick your hand down into some hole, grab the fish and yank him back onto dry
land without using any fishing tackle, which is expressly forbidden under the
rules. This action is not considered to be professional and representative of
You’re also prohibited from wearing gloves, as that seems to
lessen your ability to tell if this is a desirable fish, worthy of being caught
or something else. The ‘something else’ is often either a snapping turtle or an
alligator. Both of which have been know to take your fingers or arms off. As one
of the ‘sportsman’ stated in his interview…”we don’t consider it a good day unless
you lose some blood.” I suppose they really admire the guys who show up at the
Noodling Conventions missing an arm or leg. The really tough, hard core enthusiasts
of this sport could only be so affected four times before they would have to drop
out of the national finals, for obvious reasons. Certainly that could qualify
them to be expert commentators for the television coverage. Some national adult
beverage company might well desire to sponsor this television-programming concept.
Don’t laugh, it could happen. Look at what’s on television each night as it is
now. Only in America.
My second point for this week is a startling revelation
from some government (United States) agency charged with the responsibility of
monitoring subsidence of coastal land masses. It was recently discovered that
their calculations are quite a bit inaccurate due to the fact that they had been
checking the amount of subsidence against some marker placed on the land in question.
It was brought to the agencies attention that their measurements might not reveal
a true and accurate reading since the marker was sinking at the same rate as the
surrounding land mass. Once this small oversight was corrected, it was astonishing
for the government (United States) to learn that the land had been sinking far
more rapidly than previously thought. It makes one wonder how much we were or
are paying for the astute personnel in this governmental (United States) agency.
These might be the same people who marked the best places to fish by painting
a big x mark on the side of their boat.
Last but certainly not least,
is the story of a father who paddled his sixteen year old son for stealing some
liquor from his (the father’s, not the teenagers) liquor cabinet and handing it
out to some of his school chums. The local child protective services (a function
of the government) got involved in this incident and filed aggravated assault
charges against the father for his actions. The father had to retain an attorney
to represent him at the trial and was acquitted. At least the jury in this town
shows that they have some common sense. My question is what kind of reaction would
the child protective services (a function of the government) have had if the father
had allowed this action to go unpunished? I’d be willing to bet if one of the
other kids or even this young boy had gotten drunk and had an automobile accident,
then the local enforcement agency (a function of the government) would have been
falling all over each other for this father’s head.
The good old US of
A…..you gotta love it.
© Peary Perry
Comments go to firstname.lastname@example.org
From North America
7 , 2005 column