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Texas : Features : Columns : Letters From North America :

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving

by Peary Perry
Peary Perry

Here it is Thanksgiving again and as usual everyone will still be trying to figure out the best way to cook a turkey. You’d think by this time in our lives we would have figured it out, but since we only cook one a year, I suppose it’s only natural to forget. Do they even sell turkeys in July? I’ll have to check next summer.

I know we are thankful for one thing. The election is finally over. Now we can have peace and quiet for at least another six months before the mid term campaigning starts up. I know that thrills you to think about what is coming in the next eight or nine months. I really think a lot of money could be made if we had a couple of Campaign Channels on the tube. Just show campaign speeches and fund raising 24/7…..oh, wait …I forgot we have that now.

Anyway, here it is 2008 and we still have our country and our health, or at least most of it. As for our money, well, that’s gone the way of my hair. It was there and now it’s gone. Do you think anyone in DC has a clue as to what to do about the economy other than printing more money and giving it away to just about anybody but me…and you? I think we all deserve a bailout. Unfortunately, I’ve never been so big the government could not afford to let me fail. I’ll try harder next year. I hope you’ll do the same.

So, in the next couple of days we will all be busy scurrying around trying to figure out exactly how many will be sitting down for dinner on Thursday. If you have married kids, you never know what to expect. Will they go to their in-laws or to your house? They don’t really know themselves until about ten o’clock Wednesday evening. It all depends on the phases of the moon and something to do with the tide tables or something…I never have figured it out.

All I know is that we always end up with way more food on the table than any ten grown football players can eat. Everyone is on a diet, but we still cook all of this stuff and then try to eat tiny portions at the table. Then everyone snacks for the rest of the weekend. Somehow between Thursday and Sunday, all of the pies are gone and most of the turkey….little by little, piece by piece. During halftime you will notice that nearly everyone drifts into the kitchen without a word and comes back with cheeks so full they appear to have caught the mumps in the past five minutes.

On Thursday, by the end of the third quarter nearly everyone is sound asleep and will wonder how the score got so out of whack in just fifteen minutes when they wake up. If you’re lucky by the time Sunday rolls around there isn’t much left to pack up and send off with everyone going home. I’m always at a loss as to how to divide the stuff up. Do you send out a little of everything all mashed together in one big container or a lot of just one thing to each person? These are decisions best left to those with more experience than I have.

We have a lot of problems in this country; all of us admit this is true. But the good news is that we are free to cheer or gripe about whatever we want, whenever we want to do so. This year, I’d suggest you start any political discussions about the time the third quarter of the game is coming on and everyone has just had their fill of turkey and dressing.

Trust me; it’ll make the next couple of days go a lot easier if you do so.

Another thought before I go…I’m in the store yesterday buying stuff for dinner and they are playing Christmas music already. How come we don’t have any thanksgiving music?

Got to be a way to rhyme turkey with something besides politician. No wait, that doesn’t work….or does it?

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

© Peary Perry
November 26, 2008 column
More Letters From North America
Syndicated weekly in 80 newspapers
Comments go to pperry@austin.rr.com

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