Packages by Peary Perry
believe, but in just a little over a week the presidential inauguration will be
taking place in Washington. Iíve been watching the mail for my invitation to some
of the activities, but it either must have been stolen or lost. I would have thought
mine would have arrived by this time.
In anticipation of the arrival of
my invitation, I have been searching the Internet to see if there are any Ďdealsí
to be had in the way of travel and accommodation packages.
The high-end package goes for $205,000. Look at this figure, I have stated it
correctly. Thatís $205,000 American dollars. Now, before you throw this paper
down and refuse to consider this special offer, look at what you will get. For
two people, youíll have your own private jet to take you to D.C. and then back
home. Youíll spend your time in a 3,500 square foot hotel room. Well, itís not
really a room, since it has a total of 14 rooms. Yours will have a gym, a kitchen,
game room and of course your own butler. You will be fitted for a custom made
gown and tux for the evenings activities. You get matching watches. A five-course
dinner for eight. Manicures out the wazoo and an American flag that was flown
over the Capital. Oh, yes and you get to keep the bathrobes.
$205,000 package. The one for a million has some additional stuff, but I decided
to pass on this one as last year was fairly lean for me and I donít think I could
swing for it at this time. Perhaps the next one. I did notice that for this package
they give you two actors who pretend to be Secret Service Agents and who follow
you around the entire time youíre in the city. I suppose they wear those long
trench coats and constantly talk into their wrists. Since they arenít real guys
I wonder whom they are calling? Probably checking on their cleaning or if the
photos have come back from the one hour place.------ I know this year itís too
late to make up my mind to go since Iíve waited so long. Iím sure all of the good
packages have already been taken by now. This got me to thinking about an opportunity
for the next inauguration four years from now. I think a great idea would be for
someone to put together a travel package for the Ďlittle guyí. You know the Ďaverage
Americaní, something everyone who wanted to go could afford if they were working
at Wal-Mart. This is an event that should be accessible for all of America, not
just the rich. This is part of our history and all of us should have an opportunity
about this? For $795 (payable by check or Visa) you get the following: Remember
this is for a party of twoÖso you want to think about who might want to invite.
there you have it. The trip of a lifetime for America.
- Roundtrip bus tickets
to the Nations capital with reserved seats. Complementary six pack of Bud and
three commemorative Cheeze Whiz cracker boxes.
side room for three nights with king size bed at the Motel Six closest to downtown
Washington D.C. The plastic flowers are guaranteed to be freshly washed. Large
towels, clean sheets and bedspread come with this offer. Extra coffee will be
provided. The mini bar will have another six-pack of Bud along with several bags
of red, white and blue M&Mís. A select assortment of chips and bean dip will be
available. A free copy of USA Today will be given to you each morning. Long distance
phone calls are not free. In room movies are not free. HBO is free. The radio
is free. Bottled water is available at the front desk.
for the two of you at Steak and Ale in downtown D.C. You will be transported to
dinner via your own private taxicab with an English-speaking driver. The dinner
menu includes any entrťe listed except the Kensington Club and the Caesar salad.
Both can be added for $3.50 additional. Desserts are included. Wine and mixed
drinks are available for a small fee. Tips are not included.
Inauguration Day activities will consist of a guaranteed standing place along
the parade route with two (2) hand held American flags, which are yours to keep
as a memento of this special occasion. An attempt will be made to locate your
standing position close to a closed circuit television of the actual swearing
night will find you and your guest on the steps of any of the hotels holding the
inauguration balls. You will be able to see for yourself, the guests as they arrive
and depart. For the first twenty-five couples who sign up for this exciting opportunity,
each will receive a ash tray from the very hotel you are visiting on this once
in a lifetime evening.
morning after, you and your guest will celebrate your trip at the Golden Room
of the Dennyís, located conveniently next door to your hotel. There you and others
on the trip will share their memories, have their group photos made and be available
to go to the head of the buffet line as well as take advantage of all the coffee
and juice you can drink. Tips are not included.
Iíll keep you
posted on additional details in the next couple of years.
go to email@example.com
Letters From North America - January
12 , 2005 column