From North America
by Peary Perry
| Years ago, I
remember something called 'Murphy's Law'. As I recall, it followed
the axiom that if anything could go wrong, it would. You used to see
things in the paper about something happening and the woefully gone
wrong outcome was attributed to 'Murphy's Law'. It's been years since
I've seen or heard anyone complain about something going wrong and
using this as a reason.|
Well, this past week
all of these years must have decided to catch up with me at once. It was a week
like none I have experienced for many years. I'll give you a recap.
First off, this time of the year.little black gnats or something like
these erupt in force and fly around my office. You can hardly see
them, but they are there and are annoying to say the least. You look
like you might be mentally unbalanced when you try to grab one in
front of some visitor who has no idea what you're trying to do. I've
tried everything to get rid of them, to no avail. Finally in desperation
I decided to get one of those bug bombs at the store and set it off
when I left for lunch. I thought just closing my door would keep the
fumes from scattering throughout the rest of the office. Sadly I had
forgotten that the air-conditioning units circulate around the entire
office and quickly spread the toxic chemicals into every office we
have. As a result everyone got a free afternoon and went home early.
No long-term effects were recorded, at least as of this date. Murphy's
Law in effect.
The next day I come to work expecting to get a lot done
since I had a short day the day before. Alas, it was not to happen. Several days
before I had placed an ad in the help wanted section of our local paper for a
job opening for a payroll clerk. Usually I just have anyone interested to mail
me a resume and then I can look it over and see if we want to set up an interview.
This time I included my fax number and my e-mail address for good measure. The
fax has not stopped for the past several days and I have over 350 e-mails from
prospective applicants. There isn't any way possible to look them over and give
each one the time they deserve. The more I tried to respond and advise each applicant
of the job requirements, the more confusing it got. Those who e-mailed, started
sending faxes and those who had faxed started sending e-mails back to me. At the
end of the day I probably had over 400 different pieces of paper floating around
my desk…Murphy's Law.
I went home hoping that things would get better but as you well know,
when it rains it pours. My wife and I had bought a couple of metal
gadgets to put over some of our smaller trees to keep the deer from
eating them down to the ground. These metal things have sharp points
at the base. Since they were in my driveway, I decided that it made
sense to stand them up in the yard so no one would drive over them.
So, like a good little trooper, I slammed one into the ground without
thinking about the sprinkler system. Now you would think that the
odds of hitting a small plastic water pipe going to the sprinklers
on a piece of property over one acre in size would be rather remote,
wouldn't you? But, no ….I hit one dead in the middle… causing a veritable
geyser to gush over 20 feet tall. Spreading dirt, mud, grass and whatever
all over my new suit and me. Having nothing further to lose I am then
down on my knees by the box that holds the water cut off valve trying
to shut the water off. The box is full of little frogs that keep getting
in my way each time I try to turn the valve handle. Finally I get
the water turned off; the frogs rescued and walk to the back porch
looking like the creature from the black lagoon. I decide to strip
off my clothes and leave them at the back door so I wouldn't track
mud and dirt into the house. I no sooner get undressed and headed
up the stairs then I see the Federal Express lady headed for the front
door with a package I have been waiting on for several days. Since
I can't very well open the door in my present condition I run into
my closet, grab a robe, trip over it and fall down busting my lip,
then run downstairs to try and stop her before she can leave but without
success. I manage to run down the driveway in my bathrobe looking
like some mad man shouting to the rapidly disappearing delivery driver.
Murphy's Law at work again.
I slowly make
my way into the house, trudge upstairs and take a long hot bath. Stuff my filthy
suit into a garbage bag to take to the cleaners, call the sprinkler repair people,
drink a big glass of wine and call my office to tell them I'm not coming in the
next day. I've had it. It's a wise man who knows when he's licked.
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