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 Texas : Features : Columns : Letters From North America :
Sports and Competition
by Peary Perry

"Are we trying to raise our children to believe that competition doesn’t count? How long do you think we can survive as a nation if we fail to recognize that the entire world economy revolves around competition, self-esteem failures or not?"
Peary Perry
About the time I think the world is beginning to obtain some degree of sanity and a return to some old fashioned values, the rug gets pulled out from under me and we plunge once again into the abyss of stupidity.

Take for example some of the following, which are real stories and not something someone made up for your enjoyment and amazement.


The kids at a school near Sacramento, California (where else?) have been banned by the school board from playing tag, dodge ball or red rover. They aren’t allowed to push anyone on a swing or the merry-go-round. This action was decided by the local school board based upon the idea that games such as these tend to lower the self-esteem of some students. Is this crazy or what?

First off, I always thought a school was designed and intended to be a place where people were TAUGHT something that would be of value to them when they got out of school. Perhaps, I’m mistaken. Anyway, since we live in a competitive world and economy, does it make any sense to ignore competition? If this is the case and a growing theme, then what is the ultimate fate for major league sports? Will we eventually see a scoreless sports industry since it might embarrass someone to actually lose a game? How would we have the World Series or the Super Bowl, if no one kept score throughout the year? Are we trying to raise our children to believe that competition doesn’t count? How long do you think we can survive as a nation if we fail to recognize that the entire world economy revolves around competition, self-esteem failures or not?


The next idiotic item of the day is the news flash that Iran has banned the display of female mannequins in shop windows. They said that it might incite riots if any noticeable curves were observed. This leads me to ask what a year book at one of the Iranian high schools looks like? If all of the female students are dressed alike in those cover all burkas, then how is it possible to tell one student from another? Looks to me as if the only person who could be identified would be someone with a distinctive eye condition. I won’t go into that since it might hurt someone’s self esteem. I might also get sued, which I’d like to avoid as well.

The final dumb thought for the week is about an ad on television in England. Seems Ford was running an ad showing a man getting into his Land Rover after a woman fired off a starting pistol. The reason behind the ban was the thought that a depiction of someone using a starter pistol would clearly convey the concept that it somehow ‘normalized’ gun ownership. I can’t see the logic behind this, since a starter pistol looks like what? Yes, my friends it looks like a starter pistol. I submit to you that a person could make a zillion dollars for himself, if he would design a starter pistol to look like someone unlike a starter pistol, like say a brick. Then the folks in charge of starting the races at the Olympics or wherever could never be accused of promoting gun ownership, since all of the races would begin with an official holding a brick in his or her hand and then it making a noise relating to a gun shot. On second thought, a brick might be somewhat threatening and you couldn’t use a carrot, since it is pointed, but a cabbage might be all right. What do you think? I can see it now, a cabbage gun starter device thingamajig. No, better leave out the word gun. It could be called a cabbage-starting device. This should be fairly easy to sell.


Of course, this idea is completely insane since I imagine that if the world continues to evolve around the idea I discussed in my first example, there wouldn’t be any need for a starter to fire a gun shot in the first place since no one would be keeping score on how fast anyone ran or performed any track and field event. I suppose the school board in Sacramento would just allow any kid or adult for that matter to just come onto the field and run any race at his or her own pace without any regard for anyone else.

So, who wins in a situation like this? Well, I guess anyone who wants to…I’m off to see about where I can claim my gold medal. Obviously I deserve one.


© Peary Perry
Comments go to pperry@austin.rr.com

Letters From North America - December 9 , 2004 column
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