TexasEscapes.comTexas Escapes Online Magazine: Travel and History
Columns: History, Humor, Topical and Opinion
Over 1500 Texas Towns & Ghost Towns
Texas Hotels
 Texas : Features : Columns : Letters From North America :


by Peary Perry
Peary Perry
We must be living in better economic times. I can always tell by the number of catalogs I get in the mail each week. I'm often tempted to bundle them up and send them back, but then I stop and think it through and convince myself that they wouldn't care anyway, so why bother?

I don't have the time or the inclination to read each and every one of them that arrive with great regularity. The majority of them get tossed in the trash on the way from the box to the house.

However, every once in a while I come across one that hits my fancy and I take a moment to look it over.

I am looking at one of those that have all of the various kitchen and garden implements that you can think of but don't really need. Our kitchen is full of stuff like this that might get used once or twice a year, so why bother buying it in the first place?

Here are some prime examples….How about a happy birthday revolving musical cake stand? Everyone needs one of these…when you have the kids over for a birthday party, you can sit the cake on top , press a button and it plays the song for you…no need to sing….what's the fun in that? We love to sing the birthday song…..who wants to have a recording of it since you'd still sing it anyway.

A wrist wallet? This is a handy little item to put your keys, money, and whatever when you 'leave the house' and go jogging or whatever. Who jogs without pockets? In fact, who jogs? I only need one key for the house if I'm walking or jogging…why carry your car keys if you aren't driving? Dumb.

Oh, here's one for you….a marshmallow tree. This little do-dad allows you to roast 10, count 'em 10, marshmallows at the same time. I though the whole idea of roasting marshmallows was to allow everyone to use their own coat hanger to roast their own however they wanted them….from semi done to charcoal broiled. Your kids will end up in a sword fight and someone's eye will get poked out… Also dumb.

Double ended spreader. This one is crazy. This allows you to spread peanut butter and jelly on a piece of bread without the pb or the jelly touching. What happens when it hits your mouth? Don't the two of them touch then or do they slide down your gullet independently? Even if they did, when they got to your tummy tummy tum…. They'd mix it up. Besides, what a knife for anyway? You can always lick the knife, I'm not so sure about this thing. Super dumb.

Swivel seat for cars….in case your rear end won't or can't exit the car, then you might need this one. Here's a lazy Susan that you sit on in your car. Then when you go to get out it turns and allows you 'easily exit the vehicle'. It appears to be made of hard rubber or plastic which I would be willing to bet would put the hurt on your big butt after a few hours of driving. Lose some weight…jog. Scratch this one as well.

I always save the best for last.

What we all need is a time/temperature and date indicating key tag. Yeah…I want one of these. Let's see..I have a watch, a clock in my car, a thermometer in my car and one on the door to the garage. I read the paper each day so I know what day it is. This device requires more batteries and for me to change it to the correct time twice a year when daylight savings time does whatever it does. So why would anyone need one of these? It'll end up in a drawer with the flashlights that don't work.

In short, I have and you probably have more useless things than we can shake a stick at, so why bother getting more to clutter up our lives? I've got things in our kitchen we have used once or twice in thirty years…..I can't see buying something unless it's got a fairly regular use….

Of course the combination earmuff am/fm radio walkie talkie did look pretty neat…..never can tell, I might need that…..

Have a good week…
© Peary Perry
Letters From North America >

May 2, 2007 column
Syndicated weekly in 80 newspapers
Comments go to www.pearyperry.com
Peary Perry's
Novel - Order Here
Texas Hill Country | East Texas | Central Texas North | Central Texas South |
West Texas | Texas Panhandle | South Texas | Texas Gulf Coast

Ghosts | People | Historic Trees | Cemeteries | Small Town Sagas | WWII |
History | Black History | Rooms with a Past | Music | Animals | Books | MEXICO
COLUMNS : History, Humor, Topical and Opinion

Courthouses | Jails | Churches | Gas Stations | Schoolhouses | Bridges | Theaters |
Monuments/Statues | Depots | Water Towers | Post Offices | Grain Elevators |
Lodges | Museums | Stores | Banks | Gargoyles | Corner Stones | Pitted Dates |
Drive-by Architecture | Old Neon | Murals | Signs | Ghost Signs

TEXAS HOTELS | Hotels | Cars | Air | Cruises | USA

Privacy Statement | Disclaimer | Recommend Us | Links
Contributors | Staff | About Us | Contact TE |
Website Content Copyright ©1998-2007. Texas Escapes - Blueprints For Travel, LLC. All Rights Reserved
This page last modified: May 2, 2007