TexasEscapes.comTexas Escapes Online Magazine: Travel and History
Columns: History, Humor, Topical and Opinion
Over 1800 Texas Towns & Ghost Towns
NEW : : TEXAS TOWNS : : GHOST TOWNS : : TEXAS HOTELS : : FEATURES : : COLUMNS : : ARCHITECTURE : : IMAGES : : SITE MAP : : SEARCH SITE
HOME
SEARCH SITE
ARCHIVES
RESERVATIONS
Texas Hotels
Hotels
Cars
Air
Cruises
 
 Texas : Features : Columns : "The Girl Detective's Theory of Everything"

Wedding Belles

by Elizabeth Bussey Sowdal
Elizabeth Bussey Sowdal
Older Daughter is getting married next winter and our whole family is getting into the fun of planning things. My husband keeps coming up with new ideas for food for the reception. Youíll be surprised to know that not all of his ideas involve huge slabs of meat. He also offers, each time he sees the happy couple, to give them the price of the wedding in cash if they will elope. They always laugh. He is serious. My youngest son is full of ideas about exactly what his job as usher will entail. I think he is confusing "usher" with "bouncer" and no matter how many times I tell him that it is very, very unlikely that any aunt or great-grandma will have to be forcibly ejected from the ceremony he keeps coming up with new ways to immobilize unruly wedding guests and unwanted zombie wedding crashers. Youíve got to plan ahead, doncha know.

I learned very early on in the planning process exactly what my role will be. It will be my job to keep my mouth shut and my checkbook handy. When they first set the date I made the mistake of asking Elder Daughter what her colors were going to be. "Black and white," I was told. "Oh, beautiful," I enthused, trying to be supportive, "with just a little splash of pink!" I donít know why I said it. I like pink. Pink is pretty with black and white. I did not say, "You will have pink or there will be no wedding." "There will be pink or I will make your life a living hell." I only said, "with just a little splash of pink." Innocently. In the spirit of supporting her, being an involved parent.

What I got was a diatribe on how I was a controlling monster and how it was her wedding and she didnít want pink, in fact hated pink more than she hated any other thing on the face of the earth. She had hated pink at her first birthday party, she had hated pink at her Sweet Sixteen, she had hated pink at her highschool graduation party, hated the pink ribbons on the used but respectable Pontiac which had been her graduation gift, and would not even discuss having pink at her wedding. This was followed by three days of pouting. I am exaggerating a little, of course. It wasnít quite that bad. But the potential was there.

So, I got the message early on and very clearly. The mother of the bride is to have no opinions. The mother of the bride is to keep any stray opinion she might harbor strictly to herself. She is to confine her conversation, when it comes to wedding plans, to the following three phrases: "Oh, wonít that be nice!" "Just beautiful, honey!" and "What a great idea!" If she feels she must make a suggestion it should be something along the lines of, "I suggest we spend much more money," or "isnít there something more expensive you would like to do or have?"

I told my husband that my main goal during the coming months was to avoid having any arguments with the bride. He snorted. A big, wet snort full of hidden meaning. Well, I plan to show him what he has to snort about! In the hope of avoiding hidden pitfalls I talked to a girl at work who is a recent bride. Did she, I asked, argue with her mother during the wedding planning? "Oh, goodness yes!" I was told. She explained to me that her mother was bossy and controlling. "She kept giving me suggestions." The former bride said the word "suggestions" as though it was something you might be exposed to in a public restroom at the bus station or something contracted by eating the raw flesh of spider monkeys. Suggestions. Imagine the nerve of the woman.

Not me! Not going to happen! We are going wedding gown shopping tomorrow. All the female members of our immediate family and the groomís mother are coming. We are meeting at my house for breakfast first (in our family you do not do anything on an empty stomach). I will be cooking fancy things, pretty things, frosted things, things designed to tempt the appetite of a princess or heiress or a bride. I am making a big tissue paper wedding gown to decorate the front door. Grandma Beth and I are decorating the dining room with crepe paper streamers and flowers and feathers and confetti. We have napkins that say, "and they lived happily ever after." So cute. Bride and I shopped for the decorations together. If you lean in close I will whisper something to you. The decorations she chose, as I stood back and murmured supportively, are spring green . . . and PINK! I have to admit that I smiled a little tiny smile, a secret inward smile, as I wrote that particular check.

© Elizabeth Bussey Sowdal
"The Girl Detective's Theory of Everything" March 27, 2009 Column
Related Topics: Marriage | Mothers | Texas Escapes Online Magazine | Columns |
 
HOME | TEXAS ESCAPES ONLINE MAGAZINE | TEXAS HOTELS
TEXAS TOWN LIST | TEXAS GHOST TOWNS | TEXAS COUNTIES

Texas Hill Country | East Texas | Central Texas North | Central Texas South | West Texas | Texas Panhandle | South Texas | Texas Gulf Coast
TRIPS | STATES PARKS | RIVERS | LAKES | DRIVES | MAPS

TEXAS FEATURES
Ghosts | People | Historic Trees | Cemeteries | Small Town Sagas | WWII | History | Black History | Rooms with a Past | Music | Animals | Books
COLUMNS : History, Humor, Topical and Opinion

TEXAS ARCHITECTURE | IMAGES
Courthouses | Jails | Churches | Gas Stations | Schoolhouses | Bridges | Theaters | Monuments/Statues | Depots | Water Towers | Post Offices | Grain Elevators | Lodges | Museums | Stores | Banks | Gargoyles | Cornerstones | Pitted Dates | Drive-by Architecture | Old Neon | Murals | Signs | Ghost Signs | Then and Now
Vintage Photos

TRAVEL RESERVATIONS | HOTELS | USA | MEXICO

Privacy Statement | Disclaimer | Recommend Us | Contributors | Staff | Contact TE
Website Content Copyright ©1998-2008. Texas Escapes - Blueprints For Travel, LLC. All Rights Reserved
This page last modified: March 27, 2009