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What
Bugs Me by Peary
Perry | |
The
motivation for my weekly comments generally comes from something I see or hear
about during the previous five or six days. This week, I had planned on writing
about an article I recently ran across concerning the existence of various Ectoparasites
that happen to live on our bodies.
For those of you who aren't familiar
with this word, Ectoparasites are the name used to describe the millions upon
millions of tiny bugs, critters, cooties that live on each of us. My article was
going to be something snappy about face mites, eyebrow bugs and other such nasty
things we carry around with us each and every day no matter how clean we think
we are. If you don't believe me, just Google the words…'face mites' and see what
happens.
Anyway, somewhere I have placed the reference article in a really
secure and safe place where I could go back and look it over and then develop
a story about it. But as often happens, I have hidden it so well; I can't find
it just now. Tell me you haven't done this? So, I am at a loss to tell you about
the millions of dead-skin-eating microscopic creatures that are crawling all over
us as we go about our daily business. I know you are just sitting on your chairs
waiting in breathless anticipation for me to locate this article and pass along
this vital information to you.
Or, maybe not.
Sometimes, ignorance
is truly bliss.
So, I suppose I will just have to resort to falling back
on something that bugs me (get it…bugs me?) and that is the amount of medical
information we get each night by just watching the news. I'm sure I have written
on this before, but it makes me thing that anyone younger than fifty probably
isn't watching network news on a regular basis. All of the commercials just seems
to be directed at more, shall we say, mature audiences? We have commercials for
Depends, or some sort of adult diaper. I get the impression that there are thousands
of people walking around who are just content with going in their pants whenever
they feel like it. I'm not knocking people with bladder control problems, so don't
start on me…but it does seem as if we are living in a world where we need to take
a pill or something for every thing under the sun.
I was reading a book
on the couch the other day and happened to hear a commercial advertising 'natural
male enhancement'. I perked up thinking it was from the post office and they were
going to speed up my mail delivery or come to my house earlier than they have
been in the past several months.
I was wrong.
This wasn't a
government function, or at least I don't think they have gotten into that part
of my life. But then you never know, do you?
One other thing about these
drug ads's on television. Have you noticed that the side effects are often more
serious than whatever it is they are trying to cure?
So, you get this pill
for your aging bones to replace your lost calcium. But, in addition to this you
MAY (note the word…MAY) suffer from hair loss, loss of libido, diarrhea, fainting
and dizzy spells, ringing in your ears, cramps and skin discoloration and slurring
of words. Gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling, doesn't it?
Don't laugh,
just because you are younger and don't think any of this applies to you. Age will
catch up with you sooner or later. And for most of us, it comes sooner rather
than later. You find yourself unable to read the labels because you don't have
your glasses and you can't see well enough to find your glasses so you can read
the labels.
Reminds me of the time I used a tube of sports gel rather
than Preparation H.
You only do that once, then no matter what you will
find your glasses and carefully, I repeat…carefully read the label.
I
know you will be happy to hear I am finally taking a vacation. I need a rest.
Have a good week.
Read my book---"Manuel Muldoon"
© Peary Perry
Letters From
North America >
July 20, 2006 column
Syndicated weekly in 80 newspapers
Comments go to
www.pearyperry.com | | |
