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Older
and wiser, the saying goes.
I don't think so. In my case, it's a matter of getting older and
wider -- more fat cells than brain cells.
In addition to the wider waistline, I've noticed that my personality
and tastes aren't what they used to be. Maybe the world, through
bifocals, looks different.
One thing for sure, I don't ever want to see a snake again in any
form or fashion, dead or alive. If a snake crops up suddenly on
the Discovery Channel, I scream and drop the remote.
I wasn't always like that. When our daughter was growing up, we
visited the Hermann Park zoo in Houston often and never missed dropping
by the reptile house for a visssssit. Meanwhile, my mother-in-law
would wait outside, refusing to go in.
Today, I've become my mother-in-law. If I ever take my grandkids
to the zoo, I'll wait outside the reptile house, thank you.
When younger, I liked horror movies like "Halloween" but you couldn't
pay me to sit through a nervous breakdown like that again.
I used to read every Stephen King novel and couldn't wait for the
movie versions. Before seeing the movies, I read “Rosemary’s Baby,”
"The Exorcist” and "Jaws" and was first in line to buy the movie
tickets.
No more. I'm getting too old now to enjoy being miserable, frightened
and all tensed up.
The last scary movie I saw was "The Sixth Sense" and we walked into
that one by chance. Arriving too late for the movie of our choice,
we took what was available, and it happened to be "The Sixth Sense."
The film was excellent with a gripping story and superb acting,
and you couldn't pay me to watch it again.
I got so jumpy that my popcorn started re-popping in the bag.
As a child, I never got the jitters watching scary movies and saw
my share. Usually the frightening flicks were double-featured with
the obligatory cowboy movies every Friday and Saturday.
The kids who ran out of the theater crying and screaming for their
mommies during a scary film were a disgrace to elementary-school
society. The rest of us in the brave bunch would watch stoically
as the villain came back from dead and dumped a victim into an acid
vat in a dark basement.
"The Sixth Sense," if shown back then, would have been gotten a
rating of SW for "so what" from our tough crowd.
On the lighter side, we loved to laugh at Bud Abbott and Lou Costello.
Abbott and Costello ruled. Later on, into our junior high years,
we cracked up just as much over Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.
If someone offered me 50 bucks to sit through a Martin and Lewis
movie today, I'd have to think about it. I'd do it but I'd think
about it first.
As for a bribe to watch Abbott and Costello again, I wouldn't even
think about it. Keep your 50 bucks.
Another thing: I don’t do amusement rides any more.
From that old wooden roller coaster in Galveston
to modern marvels at Fiesta Texas in San
Antonio, I have collected thrilling memories, not any of which
I ever want to re-live.
Perhaps I could board a carousel without fear and trembling, but
what goes around would need to come back around again slowly – very
slowly.
© Wanda Orton
Baytown Sun Columnist, February 8, 2015 column
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