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The
Church Lady "Sister" Agnes Dalrymple | 
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Agnes
comes to us from (indirectly) from Knickerbocker, Texas. Knickerbocker is a community
in Irion County that was once known for raising and exporting outlaws.
She moved to Knickerbocker from Langtry
after her husband Angus killed himself. His Doctor had told him he had a bad case
of trichinosis (after eating several helpings of Judge Roy Bean's pet bear who
had just died of lead poisoning). The good doctor (when sober) said that he had
meant to say "halitosis" but the late correction didn't do Angus any good.
After burying Angus in a narrow grave on the lone prairie, not far from the
streets of Laredo, Agnes went to live with her daughter Maypearl who had married
into a family of semi-desperate criminals. Having outlaws for in-laws didn't intimidate
Agnes a whit. She derived strength from the fact that she was a devout Southern
Pedestrian and the former chairperson of The Langtry Lady Vigilantes. Shortly
after she walked into Knickerbocker - the bad element rode off.
With
the departure of the shiftless, no-account and ne'er-do-well population of Knickerbocker,
the remaining citizens developed hobbies, joined fitness clubs and got in touch
with their inner-children.
Agnes enrolled in an Ecclesiastical Architecture
correspondence course from Mentone State University.
Although she failed
the course because she couldn't read or write, Agnes developed a deep appreciation
of Texas churches from her textbook illustrations. She spearheaded the drive to
restore the often-visited Church of the Worthless Miracle at Fort
Godbehere.
Agnes has cheerfully agreed to choose the churches we
feature here - in her contribution to Texas Escapes.
See you in church.
Although Sister Agnes is fictional - it doesn't stop her from
saying that Texas Churches are and have been the "firewall" that has kept Texas
from spontaneously combusting due to its proximity to Hell. Our coverage of Texas
churches is non-denominational and churches appear as we come across them - mostly
for their historic reference or the workmanship of their construction. - Editor
Click here to see Churches
Across Texas
May 2002
© John
Troesser
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