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AIDA LOTT
The Masked Mystery Gourmet

Texas Escapes Food Editor

Aida Lott is the nom d'plume of Clifton Stonecipher III, who himself is a pseudonym for yet another staff member who shall remain anonymous.

The advantage of a cross-gender restaurant reviewer is you have a person who is equally at home in a tearoom or a truckstop, one who can literally eat pounds of meat and still critique the salad bar.

Physically, Aida/Clifton describes her/himself as having the physique of Chef Boyardee with the petiteness of Julia Child.
masked mystery gourmet
Aida checks weight of moon pies at last year's Oktoberfest.
CHILDHOOD: THE MAKING OF AN OMNIVORE

Rumored to be the lovechild of Uncle Ben and Betty Crocker, Aida/Clifton was abandoned behind a bakery in Dallas and was raised by Mrs. Baird. She even crossed paths with ‘Little Debbie' when they both received electric shock therapy in the 1950's.

An unhappy teenage marriage to The Green Giant failed to bear fruit. As Aida puts it, "His heart was all man, but I knew in his head he'd always be a vegetable."

This brief liaison left Aida not only confused about gender but phylum as well.

After years of eating disorders and a diet of nothing but tubers ("I was trying to get back to my roots") we are glad to say Aida is well and on our staff.

When not reviewing restaurants, Aida loves to bake for the staff here at Texas Escapes.

Ironically, although she is wealthy (a trust fund from her uncle General Mills), we hired her because she kneads the dough.

1998
© John Troesser

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