TexasEscapes.comTexas Escapes Online Magazine: Travel and History
Columns: History, Humor, Topical and Opinion
Over 1400 Texas Towns & Ghost Towns
NEW : : TEXAS TOWNS : : GHOST TOWNS : : FEATURES : : COLUMNS : : ARCHITECTURE : : IMAGES : : SITE MAP
HOME
SEARCH SITE
ARCHIVES
FORUM
RESERVATIONS
Texas Hotels
Hotels
Cars
Air
Cruises
 
 TE : Site Info : Staff
Texas Escapes is proud to announce
our new Department of Water Conservation

EDWARD AQUIFER

SITTING AT THE HEAD OF THE WATER TABLE

While others ponder glasses of water, we're concerned whether our water supply is half empty or half full. And while we are speaking of half-measures, we'd like to introduce our answer to the State's water problems, Mr. Aquifer himself, Edward H. Aquifer.

Edward comes to us from LSU where he taught a course in River Parasites. His last paper, Amoebas - Mother Nature's Weight Watching Friends, has received praise worldwide and was chosen as a selection for the Bangladeshi Book Club. Mr. Aquifer has been a consultant to various water-parks in the SE and has had two types of planaria named after him.

Studying these aquatic flatworms as a boy, Ed has learned to regenerate his own limbs. The first time was after a lawnmower accident at the age of 14. When asked how he could perform this miracle, Ed just winked and replied: "you gotta think like a planarian." Although he would demonstrate this feat at family reunions, he has given up the practice in recent years. As Ed puts it, "sometimes they don't grow back quite right".

Ed is married to the lovely and talentless Edith Perrier and is the father of twin girls, Murine and Visine. Let's put our 10 fingers together (in Ed's case 13) and welcome Ed Aquifer to our growing list of fictitious staffers.


2000
John Troesser

More Staff | Contributors

 
TEXAS TOWN LIST | TEXAS GHOST TOWNS
Texas Hill Country | East Texas | Central Texas North | Central Texas South |
West Texas | Texas Panhandle | South Texas | Texas Gulf Coast
TRIPS | State Parks | Rivers | Lakes | Drives | Maps | LODGING

TEXAS FEATURES
Ghosts | People | Historic Trees | Cemeteries | Small Town Sagas | WWII |
History | Black History | Rooms with a Past | Music | Animals | Books | MEXICO
COLUMNS : History, Humor, Topical and Opinion

TEXAS ARCHITECTURE | IMAGES
Courthouses | Jails | Churches | Gas Stations | Schoolhouses | Bridges | Theaters | Monuments/Statues | Depots | Water Towers | Post Offices | Grain Elevators |
Lodges | Museums | Stores | Banks | Gargoyles | Corner Stones | Pitted Dates |
Drive-by Architecture | Old Neon | Murals | Signs | Ghost Signs

TRAVEL RESERVATIONS
TEXAS HOTELS | Hotels | Cars | Air | Cruises | USA


Privacy Statement | Disclaimer | Recommend Us | Links
Contributors | Staff | About Us | Contact TE |
TEXAS ESCAPES ONLINE MAGAZINE
HOME
Website Content Copyright 1998-2006. Texas Escapes - Blueprints For Travel, LLC. All Rights Reserved
This page last modified: October 16, 2006