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Humbug
means "deception" and if there's anyplace to find humbug, it's D.C. Just because
politicians talk doesn't mean they're saying anything. It's high time we sat down
and figured out the true meanings behind their deceptive words.
Here are
10 examples of differences between what they say and what they mean:
FLIP-FLOP
I didn't think you'd understand the word "reversal."
ESTEEMED COLLEAGUE
I hate his guts.
IF YOU WILL
I'm sorry, I have no idea of what
I just said.
GOING FORWARD
I'm making a circular movement resulting
in a full stop.
WHAT AMERICA WANTS
Whatever lobbyists pay me
to say you want.
SEA CHANGE
I'll send U.S. jobs overseas because
those corporations pay me a lot more than you do.
SPECIAL INTERESTS
Anonymous corporations willing to pay large money for small favors. Pipeline anyone?
OBSTRUCTIONIST
By voting no, I can stay loyal to those who
pay me the most.
MANDATE
That's when I'm paid to make you believe
that something you don't want is something you do want. Also known as Inventing
Statistics.
BI-PARTISAN
Even if it's good for the nation, I
say no anyway because No is now my comfort zone.
I
used to think D.C. stood for District of Columbia but it doesn't -- it stands
for Dodge City. Finding out that politicians are full of humbug is on a par with
finding out there isn't any tooth fairy, Santa Claus doesn't come down the chimney,
and mistletoe is really a fungus.
Merry
Christmas anyway.
©
Maggie
Van Ostrand,
December
23 , 2011 column
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