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Texas : Features : Columns : Letters From North America :

Vegetable Abuse

by Peary Perry
Peary Perry

I donít know about you, but by the time my giddy up gets up and gone, Iím worn out and ready to head for the barn. It seems to me that each and every day gets shorter and shorter and I have more and more to accomplish. I envy people who seem to have extra time on their hands.

Like a group of people who have formed an organization to prevent abuse to vegetables. Read that againÖ.I said there is an organization that has been formed to prevent abuse to vegetables. These people wish to raise the status of vegetable to the same level as animals and limit any cruel treatment to them.

They point out that raising organic carrots is a cruel method since the vegetables are not protected from pests and insects by the benefits of pesticides. Raising vegetables organically means they are sometimes actually Ďeaten aliveí.

This group also promotes the use of sterile, sharp cutting blades to end the unnecessary suffering, pain and agony to vegetables as they are being harvested. I feel their pain. Iím sure you do as well.

Oddly enough this issue came up today on one of the daily talk show programs and this time it was about the cruelty of cutting flowers. The gist of the story was that flowers can feel pain and that we should cease cutting roses for Valentines Day or Mothers day and just leave the blooms alone. The talk show host went one step further and asked if these people considered walking on the grass to be harmful as well. After all you would think grass has feelings as well and would probably resent being stepped upon. I donít know just how you would go about determining if this is true or not, but I feel certain there is someone out there who can tell us if grass has emotions.

Iíd rather not know, if you donít mind.

So, you know when you put these two groups together with the groups that wonít eat meat, fish or fowl, it pretty well leaves you wondering just what do some folks eat? From the looks of some of our ever enlarging citizens not everyone is holding to this philosophy. I have to admit I have eaten a lot of vegetables in my day and never once have I ever thought about whether they (the vegetables) liked it or not.

When our kids were young, my wife would buy us a couple of lobsters and then throw them in the pool. The kids played with them for hours and never once asked what happened to them. I donít think it crossed their minds that their playmates were on the table those nights. They (my kids) donít seem to be suffering from any long term emotional problems with our practice of eating just about anything. None of them have ever been in any trouble, so I think I can safely say that what we fed them didnít create any type of criminal mentalities.

I recall once of them hated liver and other didnít like oatmeal, but I donít think either one swore off of vegetables or anything else. So it must not have been too hard on them.

Back to my question, if you donít eat meat, fish or fowl or vegetables and I presume fruit (apples must feel pain?) then what do you eat? Worms? No, they live and breathe. Dirt? Well I guess you could, but then youíd be eating all of those little tiny microbes that we see in the commercials that tell us to keep washing our hands.

That brings up another point. You think the folks that are against vegetables ever wash their hands? Or their teeth for that matter? Every night I am besieged with commercials showing me all of the bacteria that accumulates on my hands and in my mouth that needs to be removed.

Donít germs have feelings as well?

Thereís a project for someone with too much time on their hands. Start up an organization to protect the rights of all of the silent germs.

I would bet you a dollar someone would be willing to donate real money to support this cause.

The sad part about it is I believe a lot of these people vote.

© Peary Perry
Letters From North America

April 17, 2008 column
Syndicated weekly in 80 newspapers
Comments go to pperry@austin.rr.com

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