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Columns | "A Balloon In Cactus"

How Much Is Enough?

by Maggie Van Ostrand
Maggie Van Ostrand

A scruffy man with backpack and a big dog was sitting on a low stone wall outside the grocery store I was about to enter on Christmas day. He wore a dirty old cap with the earflaps half up and looked like a Tesla with the doors open. A cardboard sign leaned against his chest. It said he was hungry and so was his dog. He said his name was Charlie and so was the dog's.

I asked if I might bring him something to eat. He said, "How about a chicken?" I thought, if anybody needs a chicken, it's this guy.

I went in the store, picked one out, and surmised a chicken by itself isn't good enough, Charlie should have mashed potatoes. But plain mashed potatoes aren't as good as they are with gravy, so I got gravy. And chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy aren't as nutritious by themselves, so I added other vegetables. Charlie would likely need something to drink, so I got some juice and water, and a plate of cookies.

Then I thought that it wouldn't be polite of him to eat his nice dinner in front of a hungry dog, and added a 40-pound bag of kibble to the basket.

"So this is what it feels like to be selfless," I thought. I liked the feeling and made a mental Post-It to do it again sometime.

I pushed the basket outside to where the man and the dog waited. "All yours to enjoy," I said, handing off the basket. But as the dog joyously spun in circles of anticipation, the man seemed far less excited. He stared at the bag of dog food, then stared at his backpack. Even Quasimodo's backpack would've been dwarfed by that much dog food.

Oh. Oops.

Now I see the problem. (I'm not quick, but I'm thorough.)

Charlie said he was truly grateful for the food, but unless I was planning to also contribute a car to take them back to the bridge they currently lived under, would I mind if he returned the food and kept the refund. I could hardly say no, since his dilemma was created by me.

It's almost two months since that day, and I often think of the Charlies. Are they hungry? Do they have a place to stay? Do they remember me? I started out wanting to help someone, and ended up needing a psychiatrist.

I don't know what "enough" is. I only know what it isn't.

© Maggie Van Ostrand
"A Balloon In Cactus" - February 17, 2022 column


 


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