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Columns | "A Balloon In Cactus"

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

by Maggie Van Ostrand
Maggie Van Ostrand

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houses,
Not a creature was stirring, save raccoons and mouses;

The tree was put up in the parlor with care,
Expecting more relatives soon to be there;

The family nestled so they could stay warm
'Cuz the power went out (with no thunderstorm);

Uncle Louie flushed a ply so high it busted the piping
Even worse, 'twas a Tucks (intended for wiping);

The power came back and we turned on TV
Watching fake logs burn was all we could see

We even tried cable in hopes to see snowing
And the north east's the only place that it's blowing

Then came from outside the din of a mower
Only outdone by a shrieking leaf blower;

That's all that we need, dead leaves blown into gutters
Elsewhere Santa makes merry, but here he just mutters:
Merry Christmas to all, may the New Year be happy
'Cause God only knows, the last one was crappy.


© Maggie Van Ostrand
"A Balloon In Cactus" - December 23, 2020 column



Christmas in Texas

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