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"Hindsights"

Looking back at:

Some Smokey Klaerner Stories

By Michael Barr
Michael Barr

Legends don't come along very often, but Gillespie County Sheriff Alfred "Smokey" Klaerner certainly qualifies. He held the office so long, many children in this part of the Hill Country thought "Klaerner" meant "sheriff" in German.

Like a lot of rural sheriffs, Smokey operated with a good deal of independence and autonomy and a certain degree of latitude. He followed the law but sometimes stretched it, like Shaquille O'Neal in Spandex, when common sense seemed to call for such measures.

Smokey had one foot in the old world and one foot in the new. He bridged the gap between Wyatt Earp and Andy Taylor - part German cowboy and part 20th century peace officer.

Kenn Knopp of Fredericksburg collected stories about Smokey Klaerner. "The stories are hilarious," Knopp wrote, "but they were repeated in absolute love for this hardworking, unrelenting lawman who earned the unqualified respect of the citizenry and those he pursued."

TX - Gillespie County Sheriff Alfred "Smokey" Klaerner
Gillespie County Sheriff Alfred "Smokey" Klaerner
Photo courtesy Travis Klaerner

Here are a few of Kenn's stories. I cleaned them up a little.

Smokey's son Chester attended Rice Institute in the early 1930s. For his degree Chester had to take a foreign language. Chester asked his father for advice.

"Take English," Smokey told Chester in German. "They are starting to speak more of it around here all the time."

One day a car came through Fredericksburg traveling way too fast down Main Street, so Smokey pulled the speeding vehicle over at the edge of town. The lady driver and her female passenger sat quietly and respectfully as the sheriff walked to the car and leaned in the window.

"Where are you women from?" he asked in broken English.

"We're from Philadelphia," one of them replied.

The sheriff gave them a suspicious look. "Well then, if you're from Philadelphia, why do you have Pennsylvania on your license plates."


Smokey once paid his respects to a man whose brother had died.

"Herzlich beileid, (My heartfelt sympathy,)" Smokey said.

"Viel'n Dank. (Many thanks.)"

"Aber, es het schlimmer seien koennen, (But it could have been worse,)" Smokey added.

"Wie denn? (How's that?)" the man asked Smokey.

"Das koennte mir seien! (That could have been me!)"


Smokey got a call from the state troopers that Bonnie and Clyde would be coming through Fredericksburg. The outlaws had started back towards Austin after laying low for a while at the Dabbs Railroad Hotel in Llano.

"Get yourself up," Smokey said in German to deputy Henry Molberg. "That damned wild bunch is coming through here again. This time we'll catch 'em."

Deputy Molberg started the patrol car and revved the engine. Smokey jumped in and pulled his hat over his head. They took off in hot pursuit.

But the car had only gone a block when the engine began to sputter. Smokey cussed. The motor died. The car rolled to a stop. Smokey cussed some more.

The sheriff and the deputy walked back to the jail, missing the chance to capture the most famous desperadoes in America.


Smokey spoke mostly German. When he tried his hand at English, he sometimes got his wires crossed.

During WWII a couple of soldiers had too much German soda water and got tossed in the county hoosegow for fighting and disturbing the peace. Later the sheriff started wondering if he had jurisdiction over the soldiers.

Deputy Buck Danz suggested Smokey call Sheriff Owen Kilday over in San Antonio. Sheriff Kilday had several military bases in his county. He dealt with military matters all the time.

"Just let the Court-Martial take care of them," Sheriff Kilday suggested.

After Smokey thanked him and hung up the phone, he turned to Buck Danz and said "Buck, do you know Kurt Marshall? I know Edgar Marshall from here and Victor Marshall from Harper. I know Bill Marshall from Mason. But I don't know a Kurt Marshall."

One eventful evening several women spent the night in the local jail. Early the next morning one of the ladies demanded to talk to the sheriff. She discreetly asked for a well-known brand of feminine hygiene product.

"No way," Smokey replied. "You'll eat Post Toasties for breakfast just like everybody else."

© Michael Barr
"Hindsights" December 1, 2023
"Hindsights" by Michael Barr

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