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I was watching
an old movie in the employee’s lounge here the other day. The rest
of the staff was attending the badminton finals in Smithville so I
had the place to myself. I got me a saddlebag full of Oreos and a
big glass of warm goat milk. I told the editor I was takin’ the rest
of the day off and I didn’t care if it hare-lipped the governor. The
movie got me thinkin’....
It
was Frank Capra’s Mr. Deeds Goes to Town and in it Gary Cooper
(Mr. Deeds) was on trial for spending his inheritance irresponsibly.
As some of you might remember - that was a felony in most states during
the Great Depression. Anyway, two of his aunts from back home in Mandrake
Falls were testifying at his sanity hearing that Gary had always been
“pixilated” - even before he had to move to NYC to claim his inheritance.
The aunts later mentioned that most of Mandrake Falls citizens were
pixilated, (except for them) and this tidbit helped release him. He
was then allowed to give his money ($20 million) to hungry farmers
and to marry the woman reporter who had been reporting on his activities.
Did I mention this was a Frank Capra movie?
The irony was that the television reception was bad and the signal
(broadcast from the top of the Lavaca
County Courthouse) was itself pixilated (in the way they’re currently
using the word). The two old women’s faces were cubed up and digitized
even as they spoke the word pixilated over and over. The irony was
so thick, I was wishin’ I had me one of them irony boards.
Remembering that sage advice from Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-in,
I looked “pixilated” up in my Funk and Wagnalls and found it
to mean: 1. Affected by the pixies; mentally unbalanced; fey. 2. Slang
Drunk [Prob.alter.of dial English (Cornish) pixy-led - bewitched.]
I was reminded of lots of old friends. Like Bruno who got stopped
outside of Waxahachie
for “driving while pixilated.” It also reminded me that some pretty
famous people in Texas history have been pixilated and in at least
two cases the pixilatees even admitted it. These two men were Edgar
Davis (Benefactor of Luling,
Texas) and Alfred Stillwell, founding father of Port
Arthur. (I should point out they was both from up North.) |
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Profile
of Edgar Davis
Photo Courtesy South Texas Oil Museum, Luling |
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Bust
of Arthur Stillwell
Photo Courtesy Museum of the Gulf Coast, Port
Arthur |
Texarkana’s
Ross Perot or Beaumont’s
George Jones may have been pixilated at one time or another - but
we all know George’s pixies were more like genies - that is, they
lived in bottles.
Edgar Davis was a big Alfred Hitchcock-lookin’ fella that got
information on where to drill for oil on the advice of Texas wild
flowers. Back in the 20's, he’d hunker down and actually ask the Bluebonnets
where to drill. He also consulted that Edgar Cayce fella and he also
believed in Reincarnation. Mr. Davis did a lot of good for Luling
and once threw the biggest picnic in the history of the State of Texas
(see The
Bathhouse that Wouldn’t Die). He also started a contest with cash
prizes that encouraged people to paint bluebonnets - so his work wasn’t
all good.
Stillwell wasn’t into Reincarnation. With him it was Predestination.
My daddy told me that predestination was when you knew where you’d
be when you went to town. You might end up at a destination - anybody
could do that - but (according to papa) a predestination was a place
where you planned to go - like the barbershop. Anyway with Stillwell
it “was written” that he would build a railroad to the Texas coast
- and indeed he did. Technically, though, it wasn’t pixies that did
the writing- it was “Brownies.” That was what Stillwell called elves
and such. His “brownies” had nothing to do with the Girl Scouts.
Stillwell would be at some important civic function like launching
a courthouse or tying ribbons on a bridge or filling in a hole or
something and everything would be sailing along real smooth. All of
a sudden Alfred would let it slip that Brownies had told him to do
this or “to be here” and the next thing you know everybody suddenly
remembered they had left a roast in their oven. Civic functions with
Alfred Stillwell in attendance ended early. Even his bust makes him
look like someone who believed in brownies. |
Now
every Texan I know has heard voices in their heads from time to time.
The first time I heard a voice in my head was in Dallas
at the State Fair in 1951 - but I later learned it was what they called
a “public address system.” Now there’s no doubt that fella over in
Waco
heard voices and that’s what led him to do all those crazy things.
His movies weren’t all that funny but I loved his guest appearances
on Saturday Night Live and he plays a mean banjo.
Steve Martin, I mean. Who did you think I was talkin’ about?
Kinky Friedman has admitted to hearing voices - but he’s getting smarter
- which proves it might not be a bad thing. And Willie
Nelson stopped listening to voices after he got that bad advice
on not paying taxes. And whoever thought up that idea to make another
Alamo movie - there’s another one. He was hearing voices for sure.
I kinda got away from Mr. Davis and Mr. Stillwell, so I’ll wind this
up. But let me leave you with something that Lily Tomlin once asked:
“Why is it when you talk to God it’s called praying, but when God
talks to you it’s called schizophrenia?”
© John Troesser
"They shoe horses, don't
they?" August 6, 2004 Column |
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